![]() Making weight loss and fitness into this extremely linear, obsessive activity through tracking changes your attitude toward food. I have no idea how someone could open an app that says, "Okay, you weigh X lbs and are Y inches tall, eat this many calories to get to your goal weight" and not immediately feel shame. Maybe there are people who can use an app like that and not abuse it to hurt themselves, but I know I'm not the only one who can't. I used this app shrouded in a veneer of health consciousness to justify all kinds of self harm. As a teenager, this was everything to me. With the food search function you can find out how many calories are in anything you could hope to put in your mouth. You're required to put in your height and weight and it tells you how much you should eat to lose the amount of weight you tell it you're hoping to lose. The way it's set up is heavily bent toward weight loss. MyFitnessPal is a food and exercise tracking app owned by Nike. The hold that MyFitnessPal had over pro-eating disorder culture is unparalleled. It has overwhelmed me over the last month especially.įor me, downloading MyFitnessPal is only one step above finding myself actively purging. ![]() You're not supposed to say this, but dealing with my tendency toward disordered eating is as much a part of my life as any other proclivity or interest I have. I am and have always been hyperconscious of my weight and the way I use food intake to feel some sense of control over my life and emotions. It's something I have dealt with for as long as I have any memories. I've been comfortable discussing my history with eating disorders for a long time. I had pro-ana, thinspo blogs when I was in high school then, after I went into treatment for an eating disorder, I "developed an interest in high fashion" as a roundabout way to do the same thing. I played sports where throwing up from conditioning was seen as a normal risk so when I started vomiting during practice because I wasn't eating enough nobody thought much of it. My mother went to weight watchers and had exercise tapes. When I was a kid I had dozens of different notebooks and binders dedicated to tracking what I was eating and when and if I was exercising and, if so, what was I doing and for how long. ![]() Since I was a child I've fallen into recording my food intake. An essay on diet culture and the way health and fitness programs both influenced and echo my eating disorder.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |